There is a lot that goes into planning a funeral. Writing the obituary, coordinating services, and choosing pallbearers are just a few of the things that you will want to consider during the process. Understanding how to choose pallbearers can help you to make the best decisions. This may feel like a situation that involves family politics, likely because it does. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help you choose pallbearers.

What Does a Pallbearer Do?

First, it is important to understand what exactly a pallbearer does. This will help you to choose pallbearers that will be able to complete the task efficiently. Ultimately, the pallbearers are expected to carry the casket from the service to the hearse in order to transport the casket to the cemetery. Depending on the funeral and situation, it is also possible that the pallbearer will participate in graveside services, namely carrying the casket from the hearse to the gravesite. Due to the physical nature of their task, it is most common for men to serve as pallbearers. However, it is still possible for women to be pallbearers, too.

Types of Pallbearers

There are two types of pallbearers. These types are active and honorary. Active pallbearers are the individuals that perform the task of carrying the casket. Honorary pallbearers are those that are recognized as being important to the deceased but are not expected to carry out any tasks during the funeral. It is important to be aware of both types to help you make the best decision for the pallbearers for the funeral you are planning.

Pre-Planning a Funeral

Pre-planning your funeral can help to reduce the need for your loved ones to choose pallbearers for you. During the pre-planning process, you can list the individuals that you desire to serve as your active and honorary pallbearers. This can help to take some of the weight off of your loved ones when it comes to making these decisions.

How Many Pallbearers you Need

When you want to choose pallbearers, it will be important to know how many pallbearers you will need. Ultimately, this will depend on the number of handles that the casket has. The majority of caskets have 6 handles, 3 on each side of the casket. For these caskets, you will want 6 pallbearers. Other caskets have additional handles on the front and back of the casket. For this type of casket, you will want 8 pallbearers. You will need between 6 and 8 active pallbearers, but you can choose as many honorary pallbearers as you would like.

How to Choose Pallbearers

When you want to choose pallbearers, it will be important to ensure that you choose people that are of consequence, namely that they were important to the deceased. This often means close family members, like sons and grandsons, as well as close family friends. While this certainly is an important factor, it isn’t the only thing you should consider when choosing pallbearers. If you are concerned about someone’s ability to carry out the task but know that they were important to the deceased, you may want to name them as honorary pallbearers instead.

Physical Strength

One of the major components of choosing a pallbearer is their ability to carry out their task. Due to this, you will want to keep physical strength in mind when making decisions. This is often why small children do not make good pallbearers, even if they were important to the deceased. This is also why adult males tend to be most commonly chosen to act as pallbearers.

Emotional Strength

All eyes are on the casket as it is carried to the hearse. This means that pallbearers will have the spotlight for those moments. It can be extremely unsettling to attendees when a pallbearer has an emotional breakdown during the process. When you choose pallbearers, you will want to consider individuals that will be able to keep their emotions in check, at least while carrying the casket.

Pallbearer Etiquette

If you have been asked to be a pallbearer, there are some expectations that you should be aware of. You will want to ensure that you dress appropriately for the funeral. In addition, it is important to ensure that you follow any instructions that are given to you. Finally, you may be expected to sit with the other pallbearers, so check with the funeral director for instructions.

At Russon Brothers Mortuary, we offer the ideal funeral services to meet all of your expectations. When you work with our team, we can provide you with the appropriate guidance to expedite the process. To learn more about how to choose pallbearers, contact our experts today!

When a loved one has recently experienced a loss, it is natural to want to be there to comfort and support them. However, there are many ways that people think that they are helping their loved one with grief that are not actually very helpful. Learning the ways that you can most effectively help a grieving loved one can enable you to provide optimal support throughout this difficult time. Here are a few ways that you can help a grieving loved one.  

Reach Out 

It is easy to second guess yourself and your decisions when you are trying to help someone who is grieving. Even if you don’t know exactly what to say, it is still important to take the time to reach out to your loved one. Simply by reaching out, you can ensure that your loved ones know that you are there for them and that you care.  

Be a Good Listener 

Effective grief support tends to revolve around listening more and talking less. Allow your loved one the space that they need to vent their emotions. Just listening to them can often help them to sort out their emotions and aid in the healing process.  

Respect their Grieving Process 

There is no single “correct” way to grieve. When you are supporting your loved one through their grief, it is essential to understand this and allow them to grieve in whatever way they need to. This may mean going out for a distraction or staying home, where it is comfortable. Ask them what you can do to support them, but don’t try and guide them through the grieving process. This is their own process that they will do in their own way.  

Accept Mood Swings 

Mood swings are incredibly common during the grieving process. Your loved one might seem to be doing well one moment and having an emotional crisis the next. It is important to accept these mood swings and never make your loved one feel “crazy” or guilty for experiencing these emotions. You should also refrain from telling them how they should feel in any circumstances. 

Avoid Trying to Explain their Loss or Offer Platitudes 

Many people offer platitudes after a substantial loss, such as “they are in a better place” or “death must come for all of us.” These platitudes are often worse than useless. They don’t provide much comfort for the grieving individual and may even make them feel that their grief process is unacceptable or strange in some way.  

Help Out with Practical Matters 

One of the most supportive things that you can do for a loved one that is grieving is to offer help for practical matters. They may have multiple offers for a shoulder to cry on, but fewer people think about the practical things. Offer to pick up their groceries for them or give them a ride somewhere they need to go. This can help to take extra stress off of their shoulders and allow them to have more space to grieve. You may also want to offer to help them with the arrangements.

Acknowledge there is no Set Timetable for Grieving 

As mentioned before, everyone grieves differently. This also means that the grieving process will take a different amount of time for each person. Never rush a loved one or make them feel like they are taking too long to move past their loss.  

Avoid Offering Advice 

Offering advice is often counterproductive when your loved one is grieving. What worked for you may not work for another person. Though you may feel like this advice is useful, it may actually cause them to feel as though they aren’t grieving “correctly” which can delay the grieving process.  

Don’t Press 

Some people have different ways of coping than others. For example, some may need to talk about their feelings, while others may withdraw. Be comfortable providing silent support for your loved one. Don’t press them if they don’t want to talk.  

Refrain from Offering Comparisons 

In the midst of grief is not a useful time to offer comparisons. Though these may well be made with the best of intentions, it can still be construed as diminishing their own pain or pressuring them to follow your own grieving process.  

Don’t Diminish their Pain 

Many people try to ease the pain that their loved ones experience by pointing out ways in which the situation could have been worse. Never do this when someone is grieving. It is painful and can make their feelings seem illegitimate.  

Never Try to Fix Them 

There is nothing wrong with your loved one because they are grieving. Never try to fix them. Provide them with support and space to undertake their own healing journey.  

You don’t like to see your loved ones in pain. Following these steps can help you to support your loved ones through their grieving process. To learn more about the best ways to provide your loved ones with support during their grieving process, contact us at Russon Brothers Mortuary today! 

Pre-planning services can be extremely beneficial when you are preparing for the future. However, pre-paying can also provide many benefits. These services can reduce the burden on your family and can provide many additional benefits. When you are deciding if you should pre-pay for a funeral, it will be essential to learn about the benefits that these services can provide. You may also contact our expert team at Russon Mortuary to get more information regarding how pre-paying works and the benefits of pre-paying for a funeral.

Funerals are Expensive

Funerals can be extremely expensive. Pre-planning for your funeral will often help you to determine a budget and understand what expenses you will need to plan for regarding the funeral. It is important to keep in mind that if you don’t pre-pay for your funeral, the burden for these expenses will often fall to the loved ones that you have left behind. This can further compound the issues that your family will face when they have to handle your funeral arrangements.

Prices Increase Over Time

Due to increases in inflation or various other economic aspects, it is likely that funeral expenses will increase over time. When you pre-pay for your funeral, you can lock the price in early on. This goes a long way toward protecting your family from exorbitant funeral expenses. Pre-paying for a funeral helps to prevent your family from having to pay a significant amount of money as funeral expenses increase.

Reserve your Space

If there is a specific place that you want to be buried in, you may want to consider pre-paying for your funeral. This will help to reserve your space and will ensure that you can be buried where you wish. These services are especially useful if you want to be buried near family or in a cemetery that only has a few remaining spots. By pre-paying and reserving your space, you are able to prevent problems and secure your wishes for your arrangements.

Reduces the Burden on your Family

It is important to pay attention to the burden that will fall to your family when they are left completely responsible for your funeral arrangements. By pre-planning and pre-paying for your funeral, you will be able to substantially reduce the burden on your family. Without these services, it may be financially ruinous for your family to arrange your funeral. These substantial costs can cause them to get into debt or deplete their savings. By pre-paying for a funeral, you can help to protect your family from these unexpected costs. Your family will have a substantial amount on their plate already, because they will be struggling to deal with your loss. Reducing the burden on your family is an important part of both pre-planning and pre-paying services.

Get the Funeral you Want

When you pre-plan your funeral, you can ensure that you have a plan put in place regarding the exact funeral that you want. However, this plan can be derailed when your family doesn’t have the finances available to ensure that your funeral can be paid for. When you pre-pay for your funeral, you can be confident that your funeral arrangements will be carried out according to your plan. This goes a long way toward alleviating problems and ensuring that your arrangements can be completed efficiently. With pre-paying services, you can ensure that you will get the funeral you want.

Pre-Planning

Pre-paying generally goes hand in hand with pre-planning. When you plan in advance for your funeral, you can be confident that the funeral will meet all of your specific needs. While you may be able to pre-plan without pre-paying, it is possible that issues will occur with the arrangements when it comes to potential costs. Pre-paying can help to provide you with the confidence that the funeral can be completed according to all of your specific needs. When you work with our experts at Russon Mortuary, you will be able to ensure that your funeral arrangements can proceed without a hitch.

Pre-paying can provide many benefits when it comes to the funeral arrangements that you desire. It can also help to substantially reduce the burden that your family will face after you have passed. To learn more about the various benefits of pre-paying and how to obtain these services for your funeral arrangements, contact us at Russon Mortuary today!