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Dan Hansen Stephens, 64, of whythehelldoyoulivethere (a.k.a. Dutch John, UT), has expired and gone to meet his maker after a prolonged squawk with Parkinson's disease. He shuffled off his mortal coil peacefully at home on March 8, 2019 with his wife by his side. Born May 29, 1954 in Salt Lake City, UT, he was the first son of Dean and Bonnie (Hansen) Stephens. He is survived by his wife of 38 years, the overly devoted saint Amber Stephens and his proudest accomplishments, daughter Tessa and son Dylan (Amanda) Stephens, granddaughter Robin "Ellie” Stephens, brother David Stephens (Gang Shi) and sister Jana (Dale) Christiansen, and "special" dog Sam.
He graduated from Olympus High and attended different institutes of higher education, matriculating with a B.S. in BS from "Jail, Yale, Cornell and Leavenworth." Working alongside his father at their company Flasher Barricades, he made many lifelong friends as well as met and fell in love with his gorgeous wife, Amber. A true entrepreneur, he relocated his family to the now bourgeois Midway, Utah where he started a local newspaper, opened a chocolate shop and deli, founded a catering company and finally settled in internet sales until his early retirement. He loved flyfishing (why else live in Dutch John?), alpine skiing, boating, sightseeing the world's largest ball of twine amongst other roadside attractions in far-flung corners of the southwest and crafting tall tales with his many friends. He had a great life, traveling wherever the fish (or his family) took him, holding (or creating) every job he wanted to have and learned all he wanted to learn. Friends and family will remember his Olympian extravagance (fast cars, good food, exotic travels and expensive ugly suits), deliciously bad taste in jokes and razor-sharp wit. His intelligent sense of humor could land you an infinitely quotable one-liner or a yard full of plastic pink flamingos. He was a wise and adoring father, steadfast husband and respected employer.
A graveside service will be held at 1:00 p.m., Saturday, March 16 at Memorial Holladay Cemetery, 4900 South Memory Lane, Holladay, Utah 84117. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Utah Food Bank or the Michael J. Fox Parkinson's Research Foundation.